Expectation- Take care of yourself while caring for a bedridden or unwell loved one. The expectation is that your loved ones should receive loving, dedicated care 24/7, so they can navigate their illness or health condition with ease, feel supported and comfortable, and recover as quickly and smoothly as possible
Reality- Caring constantly for a bedridden or unwell loved one can be an overwhelming and physically as well as emotionally draining process. It can lead to stress, burnout, frustration, and severe resentment.
The gap- You are a human and you can’t pour from an empty cup. To take good care of an unwell loved one, it is important to keep reminding yourself that you matter as well and it is crucial to take good care of yourself to keep going.
This is how you bridge the gap
Ways to take care of yourself as you care for an unwell loved one
- Acceptance- Acceptance needs to come first when you start caring for an unwell loved one and happens on multiple levels. Accept that you are human, you have your limitations and you can’t function 24/7. Also, accept your loved one’s situation and that their medical issues may persist despite your constant care and availability. You must set realistic expectations with small goals and accept that slips may happen sometimes.
- Appreciate yourself– No matter what you do or how much you do, you deserve a pat on your back for stepping up to the responsibility of caring for your loved one. Celebrate your small wins and always tell yourself that you are doing your best and that is enough.
- Physical wellness– For you to be constantly available for your loved one you need to have the necessary stamina and strength as you help in lifting, turning them, walking them around, or assisting them with their daily routine.
Ensure that you maintain a good posture while tending to your loved one. Especially while lifting them or assisting them in turning to avoid any back injuries. You must keep your body in good shape through a simple fitness regime like walks, yoga, or doing some stretches. Food and sleep are equally vital to maintaining sound physical health. Hence getting a sufficient dose of both is important to deal with the exhaustion that comes from caregiving. If your body shows signs of any kind of persistent strain, you mustn’t shy away from consulting a professional like a doctor or a physiotherapist for help.
- Emotional and mental well-being– Caring for an ailing loved one can be a roller coaster ride full of conflicting feelings like joy and sadness, satisfaction and guilt, gratitude and frustration, etc. The most effective way to deal with them is to acknowledge your feelings, share them with a counselor or a trusted family member or friend, and accept them without bashing yourself up. Journaling is also a great way to process your deepest feelings. Not considering them to be valid and bottling them up may lead to an untimely and unpleasant outburst which may only add to your woes.
- Take breaks– This could mean taking some time off several times a day to do your own thing that gives you some peace of mind and rejuvenates your soul. It enables you to come back to your loved one in a more cheerful way and makes them feel good too rather than seeing your worried and stressed-out face all the time. Taking a break could also mean taking a few days off if you have help with whom your loved one can be entrusted. We must mention the significant role of a rehabilitation or a continuum care facility here. These facilities enable you to leave your loved one while you are away in the secure care of professionals.
- Assistance– Asking for help is still unfortunately considered taboo in Asian society. Although a gradual paradigm shift is in motion most people still drown in guilt and worry when they need to get professional help. However, it may be time to prioritize the well-being of your loved one over your guilt and social conditioning. Appointing a professional caregiver, therapist, cook, or nurse to assist you may be one of the best decisions you make for the sake of your ailing loved one. By making specialized care available to them through skilled and experienced people you only lead them to a path of faster and complete recovery without any lapses and hospital readmissions. Please remember that asking for help is a sign of strength and not weakness.
So all you heroes out there, celebrated or unsung…take a deep breath and tell yourself with pride that you matter too!
